1.A guy walking into a hardware store violently slammed his body into a doorframe after becoming deeply hypnotizes by the sight of my prosthetic leg. You are getting very sleeepy. Or cluuumsy!
2. The free beer that flowed all night long at a Catholic church picnic after I sorta kinda told everybody I was attacked by a shark and it ate my leg.
3. The parents watching their kids in my karate class jumped out of their seats to help me after I fell down. Despite the fact we were practicing takedowns. And everyone was falling!
4. Being laughed at by an entire school bus full of kids after I fell on the sidewalk in front of my house when first learning to walk. Impeccable timing!
5. When an Asian man asked me what happened to my leg and after I responded “a wreck”, he continued to insist I said “Iraq” despite me trying to correct him countless times.
6. As a last ditch effort to stop having a mentally disturbed guy call the police every 30 minutes, I showed him my prosthetic leg and told him every time he calls it makes my leg hurt. After that conversation he never called again.
7. The stares I get from people looking to buy a vacant lot next to my house after I decide to not wear my prosthetic. While I’m mowing the grass on my John Deere tractor with a cold beer and a floppy jungle hat! In a small country town.
8. The expression on people’s faces after I purposely drop a heavy weight on my prosthetic foot while wearing long pants in the gym. And I go on like nothing happened!
9. When strangers ask me if I hurt myself as I limp around at the end of a long day, after I simply say yes and pull up my pants leg to show them my prosthetic, they apologize no less than 3 dozen times. Some just walk away without saying a word!
10. The look on the rude man’s face who walked up to me and bluntly asked what happened, after I told him I’ll tell him what happened to my leg if he told me what happened to his stomach. He was obese. I was having a bad day!
11. The look on the robbery suspects face after I showed him he just got caught by a one-legged cop and then showed him my prosthetic leg.
There you have it! What’s your list? Ampcop out…literally