The Amputee Policeman

Real talk from an 18 year cop

Archive for the month “August, 2014”

11 Best Responses I’ve Had as an Amputee

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 1.A guy walking into a hardware store violently slammed his body into a doorframe after becoming deeply hypnotizes by the sight of my prosthetic leg.  You are getting very sleeepy.  Or cluuumsy!

2. The free beer that flowed  all night long at a Catholic church picnic after I sorta kinda told everybody I was attacked by a shark and it ate my leg.

3. The parents watching their kids in my karate class jumped out of their seats to help me after I fell down.  Despite the fact we were practicing takedowns.  And everyone was falling!

4. Being laughed at by an entire school bus full of kids after I fell on the sidewalk in front of my house when first learning to walk.  Impeccable timing!

5. When an Asian man asked me what happened to my leg and after I responded “a wreck”, he continued to insist I said “Iraq” despite me trying to correct him countless times.

6. As a last ditch effort to stop having a mentally disturbed guy call the police every 30 minutes, I showed him my prosthetic leg and told him every time he calls it makes my leg hurt.   After that conversation he never called again.

7. The stares I get from people looking to buy a vacant lot next to my house after I decide to not wear my prosthetic.  While I’m mowing the grass on my John Deere tractor with a cold beer and a floppy jungle hat!  In a small country town.

8. The expression on people’s faces after I purposely drop a heavy weight on my prosthetic foot while wearing long pants in the gym.  And I go on like nothing happened!

9. When strangers ask me if I hurt myself as I limp around at the end of a long day, after I simply say yes and pull up my pants leg to show them my prosthetic, they apologize no less than 3 dozen times.  Some just walk away without saying a word!

 10. The look on the rude man’s face who walked up to me and bluntly asked what happened, after I told him I’ll tell him what happened to my leg if he told me what happened to his stomach.  He was obese.  I was having a bad day!

11. The look on the robbery suspects face after I showed him he just got caught by a one-legged cop and then showed him my prosthetic leg.

There you have it!  What’s your list?  Ampcop out…literally

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A Good Book that ALL Amputees Should Read

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This is my own story about my accident in April 2003 that left me to endure 38 surgeries and not walk for 2 and a half years.  I talk about my own doubts, struggles with faith, crappy healthcare, family life and finally what it took for me to get going well enough to become a police officer again.  If you’ve ever wondered about these things and felt alone, pick up a copy in hard print or ebook at any major on-line book retailers or Amazon.  I promise you you will relate!  “The Serious Business of Laughing at Life”

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/146285382X?pc_redir=1407160645&robot_redir=1image

Kevin- AmpCop

Ferguson, Missouri

Completely not related to being an amputee and more related to being a cop, I wanted to give people my take on the police shooting that occurred recently in Ferguson, Missouri that has once again stirred the social fabric of our great country.  Now if you don’t already know, I’m a big time socializer and i pretty much talk to anybody who looks my way.  And in those talks with people from blacks and whites, when asked what I think, I always say AND will always say that I will reserve my judgement until after the investigation is final.  That being said, I encourage all my readers to do the same.  Making an assumption about anything before you have all the facts is both irresponsible and ignorant.  As amputees, I think we have all fallen prey to premature assumptions before we were given the opportunity to tell our entire story.  Putting our money where our mouth is, why would we do that to anyone else.  Try not to get sucked in and try not to prejudge.  I’m tired of the race game and I hope you are too.  Be safe and we will chat soon.

Kevin

Intimacy as an Amputee

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While some of you might find the subject of this particular blog offensive or disturbing, other more free-spirited folks might find this topic somewhat erotic, but however you do, a common question that I get from my readers, albeit always behind the scenes, is the question of intimacy with an amputee, AKA SEX!  Yep, I said it. And even if you have not personally asked me, and you are in a relationship or you yourself are an amputee,  I almost guarantee you that, at some point before or since the amputation, we have all at least wondered how it would be.  And since I always tell it the way I see it, here it goes…  Drum roll, please!  Sex as an amputee or with an amputee partner is going to be exactly the same as it was before, that is if you had a great sex life then!  That’s it!  That’s the long answer.  And if you had a crappy sex life prior, then my guess would be that it will be crappy again!  Yes, most of us fought that internal struggle of not looking the same with a missing arm or leg, but unless you are into some really crazy stuff that REQUIRES that particular body part, I think you’ll find that being a little lighter on one side or another, or both in some cases, the redistribution of weight won’t change how much you love someone.  That being said, IF you ARE into some crazy stuff between the sheets, being an amputee should open up doors for finding a new way to doing something old… 

From the always brutally honest Ampcop, peace out and 10-7.

Kevin

Please help!!!!

Everybody send this to as many people or amputees as you know for me. I do this to help other people, and with your help I can spread our message that an amputee doesn’t mean the end of anything!  Thank you!!!

The Golden Rule…

Always remember this when you deal with your haters;

When other people expects you  will fail, what they are really saying is whatever the challenge is you have in front of you, they would expect themselves to fail.

Amputee, the toughest people in America…

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