Your flying fast-forward and head strong towards a goal it seems you’ve had forever. Only this time you’re making real progress and now starting to see the hard work pay off! Then all of a sudden and without warning a HUGE and unfortunate monkey wrench gets thrown into the works and as quickly as you got up to cruising speed, your journey comes to a screeching halt! Disappointed? Well, duh and hell yes! Welcome to that little annoyance we call life! The good news is it happens to all of us. So no, life isn’t picking on you! The bad news is you’re going to have to change your mental gears, even if for only a short time, until you start back towards your goal. Oh! Another good news is, starting back will be up to you!
Now, at this point, most people want to give up. Unfortunately, some do. But the reality of the situation is, the obstacle you tripped over might simple be a small rock that causes you to slow down and regroup, and often with a better plan for moving forward the next time you get going again. That’s when you have to learn to change that gear in your head. And as I tell my own kids, just because one facet of your life isn’t going the way you want it to doesn’t mean the entire system has to be shut down. Think of it not as being game over, but more like a time out. In other words, change gears and focus on the other 90% of life until you can start back on your journey towards success. It might even help you reach your goal quicker on the next try! But I repeat, whatever you do, don’t shut down and stop doing everything because you’re bummed about one thing. Change that mental gear until you can shift back into overdrive again. That’s what successful people do.
Here I am awake at 3:30 in the morning, standing outside under the moonlight, drinking coffee, smoking a cheap cigar, reflecting on life…. Writing this. Its been 13 years since my accident and I want the world to know that I’m still mad! I know that to most of you, I come across as this risilant soul who has overcome my obstacles and have persevered through all my hardships. Because of this, it often is forgotten that I deal with the same emotions as the rest of you because it unfairly seems like I have my shit together on the outside, especially to my family and friends. But on nights like these, when I can’t sleep, deep in thought and worried about everything going right for me and those I love because so many things in my past went wrong, I find myself still mad. Mad that I can’t run like I used to, mad when I look at my scars in the mirror, mad when I see my arm muscle that MRSA ate away, mad that I fall, mad when my fake leg doesn’t fit just right, mad that I am still bitter at times… Yes I am still mad about my needless accident over a decade ago. So I find myself unable to sleep in order to reflect on how I can become awake in life again. To brainwash myself, usually I console my insecurities by thanking God that I still have my life and the mangled and embarrassing arm that I almost lost, and the truth is, I am very happy to enjoy life while watching my children grow. But at the beginning of each morning and the end of each day, I still get angry that I have to don a prosthesis, put on a tough game face and go through the rest of my life as a one-legged man. Yes, I still get mad. And if your an amputee like me, I’m sure you get mad too. I guess that’s just an emotion that we have to put on the back burner in order to function in life. I wish it wasn’t so, but yes I still get mad…
Until next time, Ampcop out.